Parenting
Parent Week // Build a Frame
12:59 PM
So as I posted yesterday that in honor of our new arrival at
the Millard (for more on that go HERE) home I am doing a blog series called
Parent week. I am dedicating this entire week to a few things that I have
learned in my time as a parent.
The first thought I want to share is Build a Frame!!
A few weeks ago my oldest daughter came to me and asked if
she could eat dinner in the living room so she could watch some movie she had
been waiting for. I told her no that we eat as a family. Don’t worry I’m not
completely heartless, we have a DVR so I recorded it for her to watch later.
What I want to point out though is why I did not let her eat in front of the
TV. It is not because I find there to be something wrong with TV during dinner.
In all honesty I like it too, but a long time ago my wife and I decided that
the few nights a week that we can eat together as a family that we would. We
want our kids to value family time like we do.
A long time ago my wife and I sat down a talked about the
things we want our kids to value and believe in. So along the way we have
established certain guidelines put
rules in place to affirm and reinforce those core things we want our kids to
value.
So the reason I would not let my daughter eat in front of
the TV was because the request did not fit inside our frame. The “frame” we
built made that decision very easy. Having a frame and deciding where you want
to end up and deciding from an early age what boundaries we want to have in
place will make decisions and punishment take a much easier turn. When you know
where you are going and you have an end in mind it is so much easier to have an
awareness of when we are getting off track. The goal makes the path far more
defined.
Building a frame gives a little definition to the picture
and puts boundaries in place that will help you make easier determination on
what you do and do not do to reinforce those values. For example if you value
honesty you and punish your
children for being honest it will not reinforce that value.
Here are 3 questions to ask when building a frame
What do want them to
value?
What will you put in
place to reinforce those values?
What do you need to
stop doing that does not reinforce those values?
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