Well, it has been quite a while since I have updated anything on my blog. Hard to believe that a little over 3 months have passed since my last posting. But time off was necessary for me to rest and get my head straight!

I have gone over and over again on what to share and how much to share. After a lot of prayer and processing I have decided just to share a few basic things and let you know where my life is and what you can expect to see on my blog moving forward! 

I am no longer the Family Pastor at oneChurch.tv. I’m not going to talk a lot about this right now. The important thing for everyone to know right now is that I love oneChurch.tv. And through everything that my family has been through in the past months they have been more than amazing. I have no hard feelings towards oneChurch.tv! I love them and I miss them dearly! But right now it was imperative that I step away and focus my family!

I have thought a lot about the how much to share and what not to share. And in the coming months I may talk a little more about my situation and what led me here. For now all I want you to know is that I got my priorities way out of line. And I made some choices that I shouldn’t have made! Because of that, I need to step away from paid ministry for a while. My family and I really would appreciate your prayers! As we start a new journey in our lives! And as we continue to search for what God has for us and where He is leading us!

That being said I still love to write! And I still feel like I have things to say about family, parenting, leadership and ministry. My perspective may be a little different now days due to the fact I wont be talking from a paid staff position but I don’t believe that means I no longer have anything to say. I started this blog as a way to share my thoughts. If people read it then great! If they don’t I still got to share. So I will continue to blog a few times a week. Sometimes it might be from the point of a church attendee or a volunteer. Others it may just be a place for me to talk about what I am processing through.

Check back tomorrow as I share some things I have been reminded of or learned for the first time during this transition! I am excited to be back in the blogging world and look forward to writing more soon! 

When it comes to crazy times of year I almost always forget to rest. Or better yet I choose not to. I allow myself to get over extended and I don’t remember the big picture! I become concerned with getting the tasks done and not remembering how important it is to take some time for myself so that I can be refreshed. Because when I am refreshed I am in the best place to lead my team!

If I was going to make a guess I would be willing to bet that I am not the only one who deals with this struggle. We are all familiar with the ole adage Sunday is always coming! Or Wednesday is always coming or in some cases both!! And it gets hard between all the different seasons of the year to remember to take some time to refresh and recharge!

One of the biggest truths in leadership is that if you truly want to be effective you have to be purposeful when it comes to rest

3 reasons to Take Some Time

Pour in Pour Out – you can’t pour out from an empty cup. You have to be intentional to step away and fill up. My mentor tells me that I should spend an hour a day doing something that fills me up and engages my mind! I completely agree! It is more important for you, your family, and the people you lead that you are the best version of you. That doesn’t mean that you wont have seasons where things are out of control and you get tired and empty. But putting up some boundaries in your life now makes the times that happens few and far between!

Change of Place + Change of Pace = Fresh perspective – this really goes without a ton of explanation. Sometimes the very thing you brain needs to get some fresh thoughts and to see things a little more clearly is for you to get out of the pattern of what you do for just a minute. I know sometime the missing piece to a talk I am working on or a problem that I need to solve comes to me when I step away from my typical place and change things up a little.

You Set the Tone – If you are a leader than you set the tone for someone. If you have a family then you set the tone for them. A lot of what you will be known for as a leader will not be the things you said. It will be the way you actually lived. Rest and time away have to really matter to you. Because if they do then that will communicate to the people you lead in whatever context that may be that it should, at least on a basic level, matter to them!

What would you add to my list?

Welcome to the Monday Minute. This is a weekly segment on my Blog where I post a short thought on Random things. Maybe a resource or maybe something I have experienced in the last week. It will be up every Monday so I hope you enjoy.

At oneChurch.tv we try to do several events a year that are specifically designed just for Married Couples. Now if you have any experience with this sort of thing then you know that branding and taking putting this together with any sort of excellence can be extremely difficult and time consuming. We only have 3 staff members so time is not an asset we typically have.

So when we found the Married People Curriculum and resources we were pumped. They literally provide you with every thing you need to be able to put on a quality event for you married couples!

3 reasons I love Married People!

Branding – I love that they provide you with artwork slide and everything else you need to completely theme an event out. It takes the work/money from having logos designed or doing it your self.

Take Aways – Each event is designed to send our couples to have a conversation around the main thought we talked about. This gives you several different ideas of things to do and flesh out so that you can send them out with something to remind them to have that conversation and put into practice what we talked about.

You can Mold it – I hate the feeling that I have to do it hook line and sinker from what someone else has put together. It takes away my creativity and hinders me from putting my spin on it. This curriculum is perfect for taking it and making your own and molding it to whatever event you are trying to put it on!

If you would like some more information on them you can go HERE!

This past week Facebook dropped a bomb on how they are going to begin to approach social media and how they fit into that! Facebook diagnosed a problem which led them to make some major shifts!

The problem they stumbled upon was that people were using Facebook out of need and not desire. That there were so many connection points on facebook that people were only on it because they had to be and not because they wanted to be!

People were still using it! People were still active on it. But they were concerned with the fact that people didn’t want to be on facebook. So they made some radical shifts in their code and what they are going to do in the future. They want to create more ways for people to connect. If you are interested in some more specifics you can go HERE to watch some videos that talk a little more about it!

Now as the changes started being made I saw lots of complaints about the new facebook and all the changes! And it got me thinking about some things in my leadership and how our team prepares for changes! It taught me a few things!

Here are 3 things we could all learn from Facebook!

Don’t wait for a problem – don’t wait for something to go wrong before we make changes to improve what we do. Sometimes we live and die by the ole "if it’s not broke don’t fix it" addage! Facebook had a discussion that led them to make changes. They didn’t wait for things to go wrong but they took a proactive approach to make improvements for things they could foresee. They weren’t reactive!

Communication Bridges many Gaps – people really don’t like to be surprised. There is a picture below that really made laugh about all the reactions that people had towards the new changes. But it was a great reminder that people do better when they know what is happening! The more you can communicate the things to come the more mentally prepared people are when it happens. It lessens the emotional response and helps people approach changes a little more objectively. It also helps set you team up for a little more success so they avoid getting bombarded.

Go slow – I hate change. I never deal with it well. But when it all happens really fast too many changes make me want to hit things. If you are going to make over arching big changes make them slowly. Too much too fast is just going to throw people off! One of the things I did hear about the facebook changes that I thought was valid was when everyone would get use to one way of doing it they made a change! People need time to adjust or it affects the level of trust they have in you and your organization!

I think that Facebook is an incredible organization and I am fascinated with Mark Zuckerberg! I really think we can learn a lot from organizations like this!

What would you add to my list?? 

Tonight I have an incredible opportunity to speak at a College Gathering in our town called Aqua. And I am tremendously honored and excited about the opportunity. But I am also a little nervous! And maybe nervous isn’t the right word. But I am definitely going to be outside of my comfort zone tonight. This will be my first time ever hanging out with just College kids. 

Yesterday as I was doing some final prep for my talk I found myself obsessing over the order in which I was going to say some things. The content is there. I know what I want to say I am just trying to figure out how to lay it out in the best way. It was a little ridiculous how many times I rewrote my outline.

Then I asked myself a question! “Do I really need to obsess over it this much? They will put the pieces together right?”

Here is the flip side of that! Tonight I am sharing a thought that literally changed my life. Anytime I share God’s word it has potential to change life. Not me but God speaking through me and through his word! And I also know that the presentation is so important. I really believe that if I think I have something worth saying than I should be very intentional about how I say it and how it comes out! So that the message I want to convey doesn’t get lost in how I present it.

In reality I was probably being a little obsessive about my prep for tonight’s message. I am a perfectionist by nature. But the point is WHAT YOU SAY MATTERS! And HOW YOU SAY IT MATTERS!

Here are 3 questions I always ask myself during my prep. Take what you will. But be intentional to create your own process. And stick to it so you can whittle down your thoughts and say what really matters most!

What am I trying to say – The first question I start with is what do I want to be sure to communicate? What is the one thought I want to make sure to hammer home? That really helps in the process of getting down to the most important thoughts and ideas. Sometimes we just have filler. Get it out if it doesn’t directly reinforce your point. The funny story, the scripture, the application, it should all point to what you are really trying to say!

How are you saying it – Here is what I know for sure, people need to know why this matters to them. A life changing idea for you can come across as nothing more that a testimony if you are not careful to craft what you say in a specific way. To be honest I am still learning a lot about this area! This is a craft that takes a long time to hone! But you have to start somewhere! How are you conveying the ideas you feel compelled to share?

Does it flow – Now this seems like a stupid question I’m sure! But some of the best messages I have ever heard had an incredible flow to them. I can remember being lost in what the communicator was saying. Everything just flowed so seamlessly! Flow matters and it can make or break your content at times. Take some time to make sure that you have good transitions from point to point and that the order takes people in a logical direction.

What would you add to my list?  

It happened. I had another birthday! I am one year older. The BIG 28!! Feels weird.

Ok no it doesn’t. It feels exactly the same as 27. But I was a good year. It was also a challenging year for me. I was pushed harder than I ever thought possible. But over all it was not a bad year!

Over the course of the year I wrote down some random thoughts on life, parenting, family, and leadership. I thought I would share them. If they seem random and sporadic then good, that was sort of the point!

Here we go!

- If your wife doesn’t know she matters most to you then you missed the mark

- You set the tone for your kids!

- Some wisdom can only be achieved over time.

- Big transitions in any area of life are hard. Thinking differently is simply naïve!

- Your experiences shape you, but they don’t have to determine you future!

- We aren’t raising children. We are raising adults. Act accordingly!

- Lack of personal conviction about life is dangerous. It’s like driving blind in New York. It won’t go well!

- The story I live is up to me not chance!

- Successful leadership cannot always be measured by how many people know your name!

- If your children aren’t excited for you to get home at night, then it may be time to reevaluate your priorities

- Most relationships are seasonal! But that doesn’t mean they disappear!

- The desire to lead and the desire to be known are 2 very different things!

- God truly is the redeemer and restorer of all things lost and broken!

- Boundaries only matter if you use them!

- Leadership is a great privilege, use it wisely!

There it is!! 

    

Yep.. The other day it happened! I said something stupid with no clarification of any kind! As the conversation progressed I heard things being said I remember thinking . . . “I don’t feel that way!” but I said nothing. And as a leader how I felt was assumed by my silence mixed together one stupid statement.

But . . .

I was tired

I had a long weekend

I wasn’t thinking straight

People shouldn’t ask tough questions after a crazy weekend

I was misunderstood

They misunderstood me

And so on and so forth the excuses ran through my head! I was defensive. I kept it to myself but I was defensive just the same! But the bottom line was . . .

I made a mistake!

Now I could have just said I was sorry and moved on. But the reality was as a leader I made a mistake. And I needed to own up to it and go over and beyond to make sure I said I was sorry and own the mistake. As leaders we set the tone. And sometimes pride gets in the way of being the example! Even though sometime it hurts and sometimes we have to own more that we should! But as a leader on a team its important that people see us more that willing to step up and own when we are wrong! So they can feel safe to do the same!

Here are 3 things to do when you make a mistake!

Say Sorry – you cannot underestimate the power of those 2 words in your life! And the power of those words on your team! You being the leader doesn’t necessarily mean that you are perfect. And saying sorry won’t lessen your influence on your team. It’s just the opposite! It will increase it!

Own all of it – Don’t excuse it your actions. Or say phrases like “well because of _______________ I did ________________!”. Just own it all the way. The reasons don’t always matter. The offense does. Set the example and own the problem. Generally what you will find is that people on your team will step in and make it right!

Go over and beyond for clarity – right after this was over I sent 3 emails. One to each person that was there! And I over explained it. I didn’t do that because I am awesome. I did that because I wanted to make sure everyone knew how I felt even if it did take a few more minutes to read. Go over and beyond to make sure that you are understood. It will go a long way and bridging the gap!

What would you add to my list? 

I am a huge believer in collaboration and in the idea that several people can come together and if they work together  with the same goals good things will happen. I think I am only as good as the people around me. I really believe that we are most powerful when work with others and allow them to challenge us and think outside the box.

Last weekend Relevant Students we put on an event called Merge! At relevant we operate off of 2 campuses but 1 student ministry. The interesting thing about that is that we are at 2 different churches. But 3 years ago we decided to keep the same branding and we do the same series. It has worked out in an incredible way for us. It has created natural connection points for students all throughout our community!

Several times a year we do events that bring both campuses together. And one of those events is Merge Weekend. Every time we do an event we collaborate and work together on direction, stage design, over all environment, and equipment! We work together on all the elements. And it WORKS. We are able to put on a more quality event because we come together. We keep our focus on what is best for the kids and that causes us to work together and allows the best ideas to rise to the top. Collaboration works and it stretches you.

Here are 4 reasons Collaboration Matters!

It makes me Better – I am constantly learning from the other guys I work with! They make me better and teach me new things. I am constantly pushed to try new things and make creative ideas work. I walk away better from every experience!

It generates excitement – anytime we come together we have more students and we pack a room out! It generates a lot of excitement! We also spend a lot of time combining resources to make a great stage design. When the students and adults walk in the environment generates a lot of excitement. And excitement always always always breeds excitement!

It builds lasting relationships – the guys I do this with are some of my closest friends. I never dread working with them. I look forward to our students coming together and our leaders coming together because we all have relationships and we are all friends. Going outside of your normal way of doing things opens you up to develop new and lasting relationships!

It makes sense – to be honest I don’t know what we would do if we couldn’t come together. It makes sense for both sides. We collaborate and make an event a community event. The cost is less. The resources are greater! The win is more impactful! It makes sense that we do this.

Have you tried combining resources with another student ministry in your town? 

I love love love love FREE!!! I am constantly racking my brain for a quick idea and an idea that I can use for a game or a talk. My friend Chad Swanzy (for more on him go HERE) created a website called the Youth Leader Stash.

This website is full of every youth leaders dream!

Game ideas – Including Logos, direction, and what you need to make it happen

Series Ideas – Including Logos, direction, Discussion guides for group times. This does cost 5.00 but in a world where this kind of resource is hundreds you should consider it free!

Group Games – This site has some of the most creative group game ideas I have ever seen!

To check this out go here!